passenger seat

ay... before things got panget, there was a moment earlier that was really kilig. i love this song when i was in the philippines pa but when i got here, i wasn't quite sure if sumikat siya here. surprisingly, arvin was singing it sa car on our way to a hotel. kilig naman ako kasi feeling ko, he's singing it for me. nag ilusyon na naman ako. then... tantarantan!!! i don't know what happened! bigla kaming nagka-cold war. ay! kainis! anyway, here's the lyrics of the song. nevertheless, kilig pa rin ako and the song is kinda perfect pa rin for us.

I look at her and have to smile
As we go driving for a while
Looking nowhere in the open window of my car
And as we go the traffic lights
Watch them glimmer in her eyes
In the darkness of the evening

And I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

We stop to get something to drink
My mind pounds and I can't think
Scared to death to say i love her
Then a moon peeks from the clouds
Hear my heart that beats so loud
Try to tell her simply

That I've got all the I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

Oh and I've got all the I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

Oh and I know this love grow

Oh I've got all the I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

And I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

And I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

And I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat

guilty as charged

as i was playing with patrick a few minutes ago, i almost cried. i feel so guilty for not telling him as often as i should how much i love him. crazy me! i never fail to tell arvin i love him but here's my son with no one else but me... how could i do that to him?!

now that arvin is lost somewhere... again! i think i'm getting tired trying to run and look for him. i don't know how long i could wait for him. i know that what i'm waiting for is just words but sometimes action does not speak louder than words. you ought to hear it too. maybe he's just not ready... maybe he never will...

patrick never fails to make me feel needed. he calls me "nia" everytime he wakes up in the middle of the night. even without seeing me, he knows it's me just by the mere sound of my feet as i walk. he holds my hand. he reaches for my face. he smiles at me. he loves me even if i'm not perfect. why did i fail to see this?!

here comes the tears... falling one by one as my finger touches the key. what did i do to deserve him? and now, it's no longer arvin i'm talking about... it's my SON. it's MY BABY PATRICK!

arvin's behavior pattern

whenever something nice happens to us it's kinda automatic that for a few days, arvin will turn cold. i mean nothing big but just noticeable. i think that's his ways of balancing things. he doesn't want things to be perfect. well, either that or he has a serious intimacy problems. hehe. kidding! well, i used to get paranoid but i'm getting used to it. i was kinda busy anyway fixing my room so i guess i didn't have the time to go crazy again. but maybe eventually, he'll miss me somehow and would wanna talk or even see me right away. ay...

patrick's room

i just finished fixing patrick's room. after all the painting arvin and i did, i had to clean up: remove the masking tape and throw the newspapers we used to cover the floor. i then installed the blinds and curtain rod. i also mounted several framed pcitures and posters. i did all of these by myself and i'm so proud of the end-product. patrick's room look so pleasing to the eye. since it's the room at the end of the corridor, when the door is open, it's color is so attention-catching. i showed it to patrick and his reaction was enough to take all more tiredness away.

15 hours

remember what i told you about our plans to fix patrick's room? well, that's just what we did last saturday.

arvin got here at around 3:30 pm. we had to run to holiday inn to check the penthouse which we're considering for patrick's and mine. joint birthday celebration party on december.

after that, we passed by anna's linene to get some curtain and curtain rod. it wasn't really part of the plan but it was something i thought of while waiting for arvin. blinds are just too simple for me. hehe. anyway, i just told arvin to stay in the car with patrick since it won't take me that long anyway. when i got back to the car, arvin was preparing patrick's formula. i was so proud of him for being able to figure it out by himself. he tried calling me but i left my phone in the car.

then we went to home depot to buy everything we need for painting patrick's room as well as a new sent of blinds. arvin was really excited that for awhile he was getting a lot of things enough to paint the whole house. of course, i had to stop him from over spending.

so after spending $85, we went to target to get a cabinet which cost more than i expected that arvin had to pay for what was lacking. yikes! anyway, he got some ice cream, butter pecan: his ultimate favorite. he also got a dvd that we could watch while painting.

finally we grabbed some food ar manila grille.

by the time we got home, it was 7:30 pm already. initially he told me that he had to leave by 9:00 pm but i guess he saw that i was uneasy and restless because i wanted the room to be done by wednesday. i knew he was tired so i didn't make him kulit but my arvin just knows how to keep his word...

he then started painting. i told him that we don't have to finish the everything that night. i was excited that i was asking him if there was a proper way of stroking the paint brush. like a student, i watched him while he was telling me that i didn't have to do anythng since he was here to take care of evrything. ay... my sweetie is spoiling me. hehe. but he made me try it just for me to know how to do it.

for awhile, arvin was really quiet. he was so into painting that i had to keep myself busy too. i then assembled the cabinet we got.

time flied so fast that i didn't realize it was way past 9:00 pm. i should have known this but i was still surprised when he told me that he intends to finish the whole room.

a few hours later, we tool a break til my parents got home from the party. then back to work...

after sometime, here goes my mom talking and talking which i guess somehow kept arvin up. hahaha. but by 3:00 am, my mom went to bed.

arvin insisted that i sleep and i would deny that i was sleepy even if i kept on yawning. i couldn't just leave him there.

then i got hungry with my tummy making sounds to prove it. hahaha. arvin then insisted that we eat some pansit. as usual, he made me subo like a baby.

i just remembered, on our way home, he was driving with his left hand, feeding patrick with his right hadn and gave me a kiss on the forehead saying, "there, i'm taking care of my baby, my big baby and driving at the same time."

back to my kwento, arvin went back to the room and painted. i stayed on the bed and watched him.

before we knew it, the sun was rising. too bad the sky has been gloomy lately but it's the idea that counts, together til sunrise.

he was done by 6:00 pm. it was so hard to make him leave. i just wanted to hug him and be hugged by him, keep each other warm and just enjoy every second that we share.

that's 15 hours... that's 15 wonerful hours.

twist of fate

i know that i've posted several times how much my mom is giving arvin and i a "hard time." but i guess the heaven is on our side na. surprisingly, my mom "opened up" to arvin kanina which is a good indication that she's starting to feel comfortable na kay arvin. actually, sinabi niya kay arvin iyon. hehe. she also said it herself na welcome na si arvin sa bahay. yehey!!! what more can i ask for? wala na siguro. but i have to admit na for awhile, i was scared kasi iyong mga pinag uusapan nila panay tungkol sa mga failed relationships ni mama, how hard it is na mag asawa and the reality na there's no perfect partner in life. everyone has a "story", a flaw, something to compromise, something to sacrifice, something to give up. eh, the hopeless romantic me, nadedepress sa mga ganyang kwento. i'm still hopeful kasi that i'll get married someday and have a happy family. parang while my mom was sounding like dinidiscourage kami na mag asawa, she's crashing na rin my dream. pero after that, i'm ok na ulit. i mean, this is rare and actually is a first kasi never pa nagsalita ng ganyan si mama sa someone significant ko. although, hindi pa rin naman kami ni arvin and i don't think we will be anytime soon, happy na ako with how things are going between us. kanina nga we went shopping for things for patrick's room. we would discuss muna before deciding on what to buy tapos when i assembled the toy chest, bakit hindi ko daw siya hinintay para kaming dalawa ang nag-assemble. sabi ko, "don't worry. may bibilhin pa tayo sa saturday. saka magpipinta pa tayo ng room." yup! on saturday, we'll paint patrick's room, change the blinds, mount the frames and assemble shelves. akala mo bagong lipat ng bahay. hehehe. i'm so excited na! this is something ulit!

maybe

i don't really mind that arvin and i gets to be busy, too busy pa nga minsan e because at the end of the day, we would have a lot of stories to share. but then i don't know why... i'm getting lonely. this loneliness is leading me to become paranoid. i wonder, do i ever cross his mind whenever he's busy "being there" for others? i now there's nothing really to worry about. at least, arvin didn't do anything to make me feel this wasy but i don't know. i just can't help asking questions which i know would never be answered. questions that are not really meant to be answered. bakit kaya ganito na naman ako? maybe i just miss him. maybe i just love him too much. maybe i completely lost my mind and gone insane. maybe...

today's horoscope

Serious partnership issues must be tackled today. There are formalities involved. Look to the established way of doing things and ask yourself at your deepest core if this is the way you want things to be.

i know it's crazy to say this but this was my yesterday's horoscope. i didn't erase it from my inbox but surprisingly this had some connection with what arvin and i talked about last night. on his way home from san diego, arvin was in the mood to talk... we were talking about his childhood memories which i must say were really kainggit cause he was able to do a lot of things. it's like he would have so many stories to tell his children and grandchildren when he get old and gray. i don't know how but we ended up talking about crushes, courtship, relationship and everything else that has something to do with the crazy thing called "love". ay! i dreaded having these kind of conversations for i don't know what to expect. but i guess there's no way of escaping it.

i realized and actually told arvin that i don't think makakapag asawa pa siya. why??? it's like he's devoting his whole life for other people. he never really thinks of hs future. it's always others. then i thought, what if i'm one of those "others"? what if i'm no one special? what if he's just being kind to me like he is to everyone else? he's naturally a "good samaritan", what then makes "us" special? maybe i got paranoid but then can you blame me? it seems as if arvin will never be able to commit. anyway, that's fine with me. or is it?

he never promised me anything naman e so i shouldn't get hurt with this reality. i'm happy naman with how things are. and he has always treated me well. that i should be very thankful for.

so, i kept myself busy today para i won't think of him too much. of course, i'm looking forward to talking to him later. maybe i'm being too available to him. will he notice me kaya? nevertheless, i love him.

so, what's up?

well, i said yesterday that arvin is going to be here to paint patrick's room but i just found out that he's in san diego. hehehe. he's with his friends. it's been awhile naman kasi since the last time he came to see them. he told me that he used to drive there evry two weeks pero since yata nung dumating ako, twice nalang siya nakapunta don. therefore, i won't make him kulit. at least, i'll try.

anyway, he was here last night. he brought me food and roses. it's so cute how he smiled lang at me when he saw me by the door tapos nilampasan ako to go to patrick and give him a hug. may kiss pa. patrick din was so happy to see him. then they started to play. humabol tuloy si patrick kay arvin. hehehe.

by the way, my baby patrick turned six months old last wednesday. he had his check up last tuesday for his vaccines. he now pala weighs 22 lbs and is 27 3/4 in long. ay! he's getting really big. super likot and hyper din. hindi mapakali sa isang lugar. parang kiti kiti. he knows how na to make habol when someone's leaving and marunong na rin magtawag although hindi pa distinct iyong words. and kahit ayokong aminin minsan, he's starting to look like his biological dad. nothing against it... gwapo naman dad niya pero syempre, mas gwapo si patrick!!! hahaha.

me??? how am i? in general, i'm ok naman. i better start my practice driving para i could get na my license. i also need to start walking and working out again. i need to be active and be into sports kahit na hindi talaga ako ganon since i want patrick to be active and be into sports. well, nandyan naman si arvin so somehow, i have a personal trainer, who i have to say is pretty strict! hahaha. pero minsan i do the face para makalusot sa kanya. hahaha.

well, that's all. hope you guys have a great week ahead of you
! take care!

hectic week

hello! hello! i'm back. i had a very busy week that i didn't really get the chance to check my blog or post anything. anyway, the highlight of the week: i finally took my written test for driving. and i passed!!! yehey! one take lang! usually kasi kahit magaling ka magdrive, madaming bumabagsak sa written test. hehehe. anyway, i'll take the actual driving test before this month ends so that by next month, i already have my license. of course, my ever supportive arvin was there with me at dmv. he was really proud of me. i thought kasi na ibabagsak ko iyong test since i don't "feel" like taking it but i guess i'm not that hopeless after all when it comes to driving.

about my mom naman, well, i'm not sure but i think she's slowly "accepting" na the significance of arvin in my life. after kasi the test, i wasa really tired. actually si arvin ang inaantok and he said he'll take a nap but he couldn't because he could hear patrick crying so he took patrick from me. sila iyong naglaro sa labas. ako tuloy ang nakatulog. hahaha. hindi naman niya ako ginising. i only woke up when my parents arrived. they saw arvin with patrick outside and they asked where i was... nasa sofa, sleeping. hehehe. then my mom talked na to arvin na matino.

one more incident: my mom told my aunt about me passing the test. i guess my aunt asked who would go with me for practice driving then my mom told my aunt, "syempre and baby arvin niya" hahaha. funny talaga ng mom ko.

then last night din pala, after arvin and i talked, my mom asked me, "o, anong sabi ni arvin?" in a rather neutral manner. gets??? hindi iyong usual na parang nakikialam o nagagalit.

well, i guess that would be all for now. he is on his way here. dapat magpipinta kami ng room ni patrick but he didn't want to choose the wrong color of paint for the room. sabihin ko dwa muna kung anong color ang gusto ko then he'll go here again tomorrow to do the painting. another first na naman to... hehehe. i'll make kwento, promise!

If You're Not the One

Arvin intended to come here again today since we have to finish another cabinet. For Arvin, once he starts something, he needs to finish it, no matter what it takes. He wants to keep his word… always!

He was at a party when he called and asked me if I wanted him to bring some food. Well, I wasn’t really carving for anything so I just told him that he doesn’t have to then he asked me to ask my Mom if she wanted anything. Crazy me, I made them talk. Hehehe. Well, they did then Arvin told me the food that he was going to bring and I’m like, “Ok. Take care. See you!”

While waiting for him, my Mom started asking things about Arvin which is kind of a good sign because that means she’s willing to get to know Arvin a little better. Maybe, just maybe, my Mom would start to “accept” him.

Arvin got here at around 6 PM with the food upon my Mom’s request. Then we went to the backyard and watered the plants… We stayed at the gazebo, enjoyed the fresh air and the remnants of the sunset, talked a little and set up ringtones for his phone. We downloaded some songs then he asked me what song do I want to be assigned to me… At first it was an old song entitled “Crazy” because he claims that the only thing that makes me a “psycho” is the fact that I love him [long kwento. I’ll just another entry for that] Then there’s “How Do I Live?” and finally, it was “If You’re Not the One” I don’t know what to choose since it’s not really my phone so I insisted that he decides on it. He chose… “If You’re Not the One” Why? Just ask him. I don’t know if it means anything but we both like that song…

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘ Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I

Afterwards, I ate, tasted the food he brought while he was eating cherries. He even got my attention when there was this cherry that was shaped like a heart. Before working on the cabinet, he showed me the pictures from Laguna Beach as well as his pictures when he was in New York. [Promise! I’ll post the pictures next time. I have to scan it first.]

The pictures that he took of Patrick and me were beautiful. Although we weren’t looking they were those candid shots that look priceless and timeless. Gets??? And of course, there were those pictures of the three of us which also looks great no matter how much Arvin insisted that he looks panget. [Hindi naman! He makes lait naman his self palagi e.] Actually, in the pictures, we looked like a “couple” and with Patrick, it was even cuter. Hehehe.

Extra: There were pictures from New York where Arvin was with his friend which was a girl. Funny thing is her name is Grace Pablo. Two names that… hmm… “Grace” is the name of this girl who hates me a lot just because I was the first girlfriend of her boyfriend. [Pakialam ko ba sa kanila?! Hehehe.] and “Pablo” is the surname of my first boyfriend. What a coincidence?! But this will be the first and last time I’ll go “psycho” about this. I got jealous because I think Arvin and this Grace had a past. Then they spent some time together in New York with other friends naman. Then I heard pa something that Arvin said to this Grace which didn’t sound that good to me pero I wouldn’t want to make a big deal out of it because I trust Arvin. I was on the phone kasi that time. So upon seeing their pictures, I got jealous ulit. Told Arvin about it but he kind of over reacted by wanting to destroy the pictures but I insisted that he doesn’t have to. I respect their friendship. But I must say, somewhere there, Arvin assured him that I don’t have to be jealous. There was just no reason to be.

Ok, back to kwento. We assembled the cabinet and was able to finish it on time. Then before he left, my Mom teased him pa that probably, Arvin’s mom is looking for him na. Arvin’s mom was calling him na kasi on his phone but like I said, things are a lot better now between them. Katuwa no?!

So, that’s three days straight… Friday, Saturday and Sunday… We were able to spend quality time together doing extraordinary things. What more can I ask for?

Oh yeah, when we went to mass pala my Mom asked if susunod si Arvin. Hehehe.

Satuday's Special

I was out the whole day yesterday… shopping! Hehehe. This kept my mind off Arvin for awhile. Not that I don’t want to think of him anymore cause I always do but I didn’t want us to get sawa at each other by talking on the phone whenever we’re not together. Arvin was busy with something as well anyway. So for a moment I thought there’s nothing to look forward to for the day. I mean nothing kakakilig. But of course, there’s always that “How was your day?” conversation before going to bed.

When I got home, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to call him. Hehehe. Just to let him know that I’m home already and just to check on him. I could have text him but since it’s a weekend, it’s more practical to call because it’s free and of course, I would rather hear his voice. It turns out, he’s in Santa Monica. Well, I’m not really surprise cause Arvin really loves to go to the beach. So I kind of assumed that it’s one of those days that he would want to be spent “alone.” No distraction from anyone: family, friends and even me. But I was moved when he kept me on the phone while he was walking and eating. He kept on saying, “Baby, ang ganda dito. Sana nandito ka.” And of course, the “I miss you so much, Baby.” I can’t deny it. I was missing him a lot too.

Out of nowhere, Arvin asked him if I want him to come here. And of course, without hesitation, I said “yes!” but he insisted that I tell my Mom first. So, I did. I guess, Arvin didn’t want us to get into any trouble. [Note: My mom is starting to be nice to Arvin. I don’t know why but of course, I’m really happy about it.] This is rather unusual for us because we don’t really have plans of going anywhere or doing anything. We’ll just stay home.

When he got here, I was cleaning Patrick’s bottles. I made him sit while waiting. He knew that I was doing the laundry as well. But knowing him, he couldn’t stand not doing anything so I asked him in a jokingly manner if he wants to fold Patrick’s clothes. Without wasting a minute, he got Patrick’s clothes and folded them. I was a bit embarrassed cause I know I shouldn’t be asking him to do that but at the same time, it made me love him even more cause how often could you meet a guy who’s willing to do that in front of other people {eg. my Mom and stepdad)? That’s my Arvin!!!

After that’s done, Arvin asked me if there’s something else we could do. It just so happen that my parents just got new cabinets for their room which needs to be assembled. I asked him if he wants us to try doing it and I’m sure you know what he said… “Come on. Let’s do it.”

So, I got the tools. And my dear Arvin is such a handy man that I found myself just staring at him while he’s working. But of course, I tried to help. He would teach me how to do things and sometimes even if he knows that he could do it faster, he would let me finish my “project” just to know how it feels. I was having such a great time because we’re actually doing something together. We “built” the cabinet together. Hehehe. How sweet could that be? And I had this crazy idea that if we end up together, we should keep that cabinet in our house. Hehehe.

Oh yeah, I shouldn’t forget, he had a rose for me…

I guess, through this experience, Arvin kind of earned my Mom’s respect or acceptance. She’s starting to talk to Arvin more, in a “comfortable” way and is actually a little friendlier than her usual especially when it comes to my suitor or boyfriend. Hahaha. This makes this worthy of posting. [Eh anything about Arvin is worth posting! What am I talking about?! Hahaha.]

Kilig! Kilig! Kilig!

Arvin and I talked early this morning. He asked me to wake him up at 5:00 am because he had to bring a friend to the airport. It took me 30 minutes to convince him to get up. Hehehe. Pero I still found him cute… He kept on calling me “Baby” tapos pag tinanong mo “Why?” or “What?,” sasabihin, “Nothing!” For me, ang sweet sweet na nun. It almost sounded like “I love you.” Here I am again… Nag iilusyon na naman. Hahaha.

Anyway, after that call, hindi na kami nakapag usap the whole day kasi baka sumobra na naman ako sa allotted minutes ko. I didn’t want us getting into trouble again. [I don’t know kasi what’s up my Mom but lately, madinig lang ang pangalan ni Arvin, naiinis na. Tapos nung isang araw tinanong kay Patrick kung nasaan ang “Daddy” niya. Akala ko kuya ko ang tinutukoy niya. Si Arvin pala. So sabi ko “Nasa trabaho”. Biglang sabi ni Mommy, “Yuck!” Syempre masakit yon but then what can I do? Nothing! ] Arvin mentioned that he’ll try to come see me tonight but then I didn’t want to keep my hopes up since he said it himself that he isn’t that sure about it. Hindi na lang ako umasa na magkikita kami since wala din naman talaga kaming plano for the day e.

I texted him once or twice just to check on him and matagal bago siya naka reply. Galing kasi siya sa practice para sa debut ng cousin niya. He apologized since he won’t be able to make it daw. Susunduin pa daw kasi niya Mommy niya from work. Naintindihan ko naman, syempre! Pero it made me feel sad pa rin. So I just thought of going to my blog nalang and read my old entries…

I was so kilig to read my old entries with background music pa. Hehehe. Thanks to radio@aol, panay love songs. Kakaaliw to look back on how things started, how I felt the first time he texted me, nasa traffic kasi siya nun and everything else. It so amazing how many ways he had made me smile, laugh or feel good. Lahat ng nakalagay sa blog ko, isang tao lang ang may gawa. Gets???

I was so happy that I had to call him and make kwento. I started missing him a lot tuloy. I sounded really weird na nga because I would giggle and he’ll ask me why and I’ll tell him that I read lang something na nakakakilig. Then he’ll laugh. Then I’ll be shy. Hahaha. Parang bata! I was in the mood to reminisce kasi. And as much as I wanted to share what was written in my blog, ayaw ni Arvin malaman. For him kasi, those are mine, my thoughts, my feelings and I don’t really have to share it sa kanya. Hindi naman daw kasi lahat kailangan kong sabihin sa kanya. So, kahit alam niya na may blog ako, he doesn’t visit it. Pero minsan tempted siya. Hahaha.

I asked him where he was. On his way home na daw then he asked me where I was. Sabi ko “Nasa room ko.” Then he asked me, “What will you do if I was there?” Sabi ko “I’ll kiss you, make you kulit, tickle you, pinch you, and hug you. Hehehe.” Then he said, “Yeah right! Nandyan mga mommy mo e.” Then I said, “Hayaan mo na akong mag ilusyon. Wala ka na nga dito e.” Then he said na, “Oh, can I see you? Dali, ano? Can I see you?” Sabi ko, “Sure! Sure!” I knew naman kasi na he was kidding lang e. Naki-ride nalang ako. Then he said, “Sige open the door.” Takbo naman ako. Eh wala naman siya sa door. Tapos sabi niya, “I’m kidding, baby!” Nasad tuloy ako kasi akala ko talaga nandyan siya pero hindi naman ako nainis sa kanya. Then he said, “Ay! Sorry, baby! Go open the door na.” Then I said, “Ay naku! Ayoko na! Niloloko mo lang ako. Kung nanidto ka talaga, madidinig ko sa gate. Eh wala naman e.” Then he opened the gate which I both heard on the phone saka sa may window ko. And I was so happy that I ran ulit sa door, opened it, saw my sweetie and gave him a really tight hug and kissed him. Na-overwhelm nga yata siya sa akin e. Hehehe.

When we were sitting na on the couch na he said, “I was in a hurry that I wasn’t able to get you a rose na.” And I said, “It’s ok.” And he said, “No, that’s not ok. I really wanted to get you a rose.” Ay… sweet! Sweet! Sweet! Perfect iyong timing ng lahat. Akala mo pinlano pero I guess galing lang talaga niya mag surprise and I thought wala na akong makikilala na makaka surprise sa akin.

Iyon lang muna. Kinikilig pa rin kasi ako. I know medyo nagmumukha na akong tanga kasi ngiti ako ng ngiti but can you blame me? And yeah, I wrote this whole thing in Taglish para ma feel niyo iyong nararamdaman ko. Hehehe.

Tuesday's Best

First things first… I was not able to take the written driving test yesterday. Arvin had to run some errands, what we call “family obligations” so he was not able to make it here early enough, as intended. Although knowing him he could have tried to make it here if I tell him to, but I just came to a decision to tell him to take his time and not worry about going to DMV anymore. I did not want him to be in a hurry and get all beleaguered. We could just do it some other time.

My Mom made a big deal about it so it rather pissed me off. It is not like I am not taking the test ever… just not yet. Also, this was just the first time that Arvin failed to show up on time and like I said, there was a valid reason. My mom acting up… again! plus PMS, could you just imagine how moody I was?! Hehehe.

So, Arvin who was completely clueless arrived at around 3:00 pm. Actually, I abhor waiting so much that for a moment; I did not feel like going out anymore. But he was here and he did tell me the night before that he really wants to spend a lot of time with me… I just hoped that Arvin, like always, would be able to cheer me up and brighten the remaining hours of the day.

So, we drove away, with no specific plans as to where to go or what to do. My mind was floating that Arvin had to ask me if I was all right. I guess, I cannot hide anything from him but he knew that I just needed some moment of silence to sort things out. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and a smile. I smiled back and thanked God for giving me someone who knew what to do and what to say when I get arduous and erratic.

Before we got to Laguna Beach, I was already laughing and cracking jokes. Arvin of course had a white rose to woo me. Hahaha. I guess our rendezvous are never complete without him giving me one. I wonder why… Anyway, he parked his car and we walked to a lane that had a beautiful panorama of the water. We took turns in carrying Patrick so that Patrick could catch a glimpse of what was so picturesque; Arvin demanded that we take pictures after we eat. True! The view was perfect but what caught my interest was the way Arvin and Patrick intermingled. Arvin showed his genuine fondness for Patrick while Patrick in return displayed his reliance on this kind individual who has nothing but the purest intention of showing the wonders outside the four corners of our house.

We passed by a really fine restaurant that Arvin and I would joke about. “Dyan tayo kakain pag may pera na tayo.” It had a good view of the shoreline with a set up that was cozy yet romantic at the same time. All the while, I thought we were just walking towards the car only to realize that Arvin was leading me to the restaurant already. I knew that our dinner would be pretty costly for an average day… nothing really to celebrate. But before I could say anything, I was already stunned by the flawlessness of the whole setting. But it must be mentioned that the food was scrumptious. Aww… again, I asked myself, how could one person make all my fantasies come true?

It gets better… we went to the beach and waited for the sunset. Arvin ran to the car to get his camera. He took pictures of Patrick and me playing with the sand and feeling the water on our feet. We also sat on a big rock. Actually it was just Arvin sitting on the rock because Patrick and I were sitting on Arvin’s lap. Hehehe. There goes the sun… before our very eyes, the color of the horizon changed from a fusion of pink and orange to an array of the different shades of blue. While watching the waves and listening to the crashing of the water, a spectacle of dolphins delighted our already unforgettable afternoon at the beach.

We went home, this time with the moon that seem to have been conspired to make things even more amorous…

How could you blame people to think that we are two people in love? With these stories, it is like living the dream of a hopeless romantic. Well, I am pretty much sure that by now, you know how I feel for him. And I also know that it is so tempting to assume that he feels something for me too. But I choose not to read between the lines too much. It would hurt me a lot if in the end, all these would turn out to be nothing but a make believe.